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Acharnians   


DICAEOPOLIS
Can you eat chick-pease?
DAUGHTERS
Wee-wee, wee-wee, wee-wee!
DICAEOPOLIS
And Attic figs?
DAUGHTERS
Wee-wee, wee-wee!
DICAEOPOLIS
What sharp squeaks at the name of figs. Come, let some figs be
brought for these little pigs. Will they eat them? Goodness! how
they munch them, what a grinding of teeth, mighty Heracles! I
believe those pigs hail from the land of the Voracians.
MEGARIAN (aside)
But they have not eaten all the figs; I took this one myself.
DICAEOPOLIS
Ah! what curious creatures! For what sum will you sell them?
MEGARIAN
I will give you one for a bunch of garlic, and the other, if you
like, for a quart measure of salt.
DICAEOPOLIS
I'll buy them. Wait for me here.
(He goes into the house.)
MEGARIAN
The deal is done. Hermes, god of good traders, grant I may sell
both my wife and my mother in the same way!
(An INFORMER enters.)
INFORMER
Hi! fellow, what country are you from?
MEGARIAN
I am a pig-merchant from Megara.
INFORMER
I shall denounce both your pigs and yourself as public enemies.
MEGARIAN
Ah! here our troubles begin afresh!
INFORMER
Let go of that sack. I'll teach you to talk Megarian!
MEGARIAN (loudly)
Dicaeopolis, want to denounce me.
DICAEOPOLIS (from within)
Who dares do this thing? (He comes out of his house.)
Inspectors, drive out the informers. Ah! you offer to enlighten us
without a lamp!
INFORMER
What! I may not denounce our enemies?
DICAEOPOLIS (With a threatening gesture)
Watch out for yourself, and go off pretty quick and denounce
elsewhere.
(The INFORMER runs away.)
MEGARIAN
What a plague to Athens!
DICAEOPOLIS
Be reassured, Megarian. Here is the price for your two sowlets,
the garlic and the salt. Farewell and much happiness!
MEGARIAN
Ah! we never have that amongst us.
DICAEOPOLIS
Oh, I'm sorry if I said the wrong thing
MEGARIAN
Farewell, dear little sows, and seek, far from your father, to
munch your bread with salt, if they give you any.
(He departs and DICAEOPOLIS takes the "sows" into his house.)
CHORUS (singing)
Here is a man truly happy. See how everything succeeds to his

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