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Acharnians   


of arms.
(He comes out of his house.)
HERALD
The Generals order you forthwith to take your battalions and
your plumes, and, despite the snow, to go and guard our borders.
They have learnt that a band of Boeotians intend taking advantage of
the Feast of Cups to invade our country.
LAMACHUS
Ah! the Generals! they are numerous, but not good for much! It's
cruel, not to be able to enjoy the feast!
DICAEOPOLIS
Oh! warlike host of Lamachus!
LAMACHUS
Wretch! do you dare to jeer me?
DICAEOPOLIS
Do you want to fight this four-winged Geryon?
LAMACHUS
Oh! oh! what fearful tidings!
DICAEOPOLIS
Ah! ah! I see another herald running up; what news does he bring
me?
(Another HERALD enters.)
HERALD
Dicaeopolis!
DICAEOPOLIS
What is the matter?
HERALD
Come quickly to the feast and bring your basket and your cup; it
is the priest of Bacchus who invites you. But hasten, the guests
have been waiting for you a long while. All is ready-couches,
tables, cushions, chaplets, perfumes, dainties and whores to boot;
biscuits, cakes, sesamebread, tarts, lovely dancing women, and the
"Harmodius." But come with all speed.
LAMACHUS
Oh! hostile gods!
DICAEOPOLIS
This is not astounding; you have chosen this great ugly Gorgon's
head for your patron. (To a slave) You, shut the door, and let someone
get ready the meal.
LAMACHUS
Slave! slave! my knapsack!
DICAEOPOLIS
Slave! slave! a basket!
LAMACHUS
Take salt and thyme, slave, and don't forget the onions.
DICAEOPOLIS
Get some fish for me; I cannot bear onions.
LAMACHUS
Slave, wrap me up a little stale salt meat in a fig-leaf.
DICAEOPOLIS
And for me some nice fat tripe in a fig-leaf; I will have it
cooked here.
LAMACHUS
Bring me the plumes for my helmet.
DICAEOPOLIS
Bring me wild pigeons and thrushes.
LAMACHUS
How white and beautiful are these ostrich feathers!
DICAEOPOLIS
How fat and well browned is the flesh of this wood-pigeon!
LAMACHUS (to DICAEOPOLIS)
My friend, stop scoffing at my armour.
DICAEOPOLIS (to LAMACHUS)
My friend, stop staring at my thrushes.

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