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Pages of Lysistrata

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form of a beautiful nude girl is brought in by the Machine.) Lead

hither the Laconian envoys. But, look you, no roughness or violence;

our husbands always behaved so boorishly. Bring them to me with

smiles, as women should. If any refuse to give you his hand, then take

hold of his tool. Bring up the Athenians too; you may lead them either

way. Laconians, approach; and you, Athenians, on my other side. Now

hearken all! I am but a woman; but I have good common sense; Nature

has endowed me with discriminating judgment, which I have yet

further developed, thanks to the wise teachings of my father and the

elders of the city. First I must bring a reproach against you that

applies equally to both sides. At Olympia, and Thermopylae, and

Delphi, and a score of other places too numerous to mention, you

celebrate before the same altars ceremonies common to all Hellenes;

yet you go cutting each other's throats, and sacking Hellenic

cities, when all the while the barbarian yonder is threatening you!

That is my first point.

MAGISTRATE (devouring the goddess with his eyes)

Good god, this erection is killing me!


Now it is to you I address myself, Laconians. Have you forgotten

how Periclidas, your own countryman, sat a suppliant before our

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