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The Ecclesiazusae   


the ugly ones and chase the good-looking.
PRAXAGORA
The ugly will follow the handsomest into the public places after
supper and see to it that the law, which forbids the women to sleep
with the big, handsome men before having satisfied the ugly shrimps,
is complied with.
BLEPYRUS
Thus ugly Lysicrates' nose will be as proud as the handsomest
face?
PRAXAGORA
Yes, by Apollo! this is a truly popular decree, and what a
set-back it will be for one of those elegants with their fingers
loaded with rings, when a man with heavy shoes says to him, "Give
way to me and wait till I have done; you will pass in after me."
BLEPYRUS
But if we live in this fashion, how will each one know his
children?
PRAXAGORA
The youngest will look upon the oldest as their fathers.
BLEPYRUS
Ah! how heartily they will strangle all the old men, since even
now, when each one knows his father, they make no bones about
strangling him! then, my word! won't they just scorn and crap upon the
old folks!
PRAXAGORA
But those around will prevent it. Hitherto, when anyone saw an old
man beaten, he would not meddle, because it did not concern him;
buff now each will fear the sufferer may be his own father and such
violence will be stopped.
BLEPYRUS
What you say is not so silly after all; but it would be highly
unpleasant were Epicurus and Leucolophas to come up and call me
father.
CHREMES
But it would be far worse, were...
BLEPYRUS
Were what?
CHREMES
...Aristyllus to embrace you and style you his father.
BLEPYRUS
He'll regret it if he does!
CHREMES
For you would smell vilely of mint if he kissed you. But he was
born before the decree was carried, so that you have not to fear his
kiss.
BLEPYRUS
It would be awful. But who will till the soil?
PRAXAGORA
The slaves. Your only cares will be to scent yourself, and to go
and dine, when the shadow of the gnomon is ten feet long on the dial.
BLEPYRUS
But how shall we obtain clothing? Tell me that!
PRAXAGORA
You will first wear out those you have, and then we women will
weave you others.
BLEPYRUS
Now another point: if the magistrates condemn a citizen to the
payment of a fine, how is he going to do it? Out of the public
funds? That would not be right surely.
PRAXAGORA
But there will be no more lawsuits.
BLEPYRUS
This rule will ruin you.
CHREMES

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