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The Thesmophoriazusae   


And, Heaven knows, I have not said all that I know. Do you want
any more?
FIRST WOMAN
You cannot tell us any more; you have crapped out all you know.
MNESILOCHUS
Why, I have not told the thousandth part of what we women do. Have
I said how we use the hollow bandles of our brooms to draw up wine
unbeknown to our husbands?
FIRST WOMAN
The cursed jade!
MNESILOCHUS
And how we give meats to our pimps at the feast of the Apaturia
and then accuse the cat....
FIRST WOMAN
You're crazy!
MNESILOCHUS
....Have I mentioned the woman who killed her husband with a
hatchet? Of another, who caused hers to lose his reason with her
potions? And of the Acharnian woman....
FIRST WOMAN
Die, you bitch!
MNESILOCHUS
....who buried her father beneath the bath?
FIRST WOMAN
And yet we listen to such things!
MNESILOCHUS
Have I told how you attributed to yourself the male child your
slave had just borne and gave her your little daughter?
FIRST WOMAN
This insult calls for vengeance. Look out for your hair!
MNESILOCHUS
By Zeus! don't touch me.
FIRST WOMAN (slapping him)
There!
MNESILOCHUS (hitting back)
There! tit for tat!
FIRST WOMAN
Hold my cloak, Philista!
MNESILOCHUS
Come on then, and by Demeter....
FIRST WOMAN
Well! what?
MNESILOCHUS
I'll make you crap forth the sesame-cake you have eaten.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Stop wrangling! I see a woman running here in hot haste. Keep
silent, so that we may hear the better what she has to say.
(Enter CLISTHENES, dressed as a woman.)
CLISTHENES
Friends, whom I copy in all things, my hairless chin
sufficiently evidences how dear you are to me; I am women-mad and make
myself their champion wherever I am. Just now on the market-place I
heard mention of a thing that is of the greatest importance to you;
I come to tell it to you, to let you know it, so that you may watch
carefully and be on your guard against the danger which threatens you.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
What is it, my child? I can well call you child, for you have so
smooth a skin.
CLISTHENES
They say that Euripides has sent an old man here to-day, one of
his relations....
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
With what object? What is his idea?
CLISTHENES

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